“Coulda, shoulda…” -One little word can make a big difference in your business, solopreneur.

“What should I do?”

It's a simple question, right?

I hear it in coaching sessions with solopreneurs all the time.

I ask it of myself all the time (hello, overthinker).

But it's often the wrong question.* (Hmm, did I just “should” on myself?)

Let me explain: 

I recently heard Jonah Berger on the Nudge podcast, citing a Harvard study on problem-solving skills. Participants were given a creative-thinking problem and asked either:

“How should you do it?" or 

“How could you do it"?

Those who saw the word “could” instead of “should” came up with vastly more creative solutions to the problems presented.

Even one word can matter. 

“Should” has some baggage: it implies that there's one right answer to uncover. It often carries a tinge of judgment, and can feed perfectionism.

“Should” can also be dis-empowering. If a coaching client asks me “should I do ____?", it can be a way of handing their power over to me, instead of getting in touch with their own wisdom, intuition, or sense of agency. 

–Even if I see a clear path that I'm going to suggest, I'll often start by handing the question back to them in a way that invites more curiosity to the decision or problem itself, and lets them develop their possibility-thinking “muscle" and self-trust. 

The next time you're problem-solving, play with replacing the word “Should” with “Could.”

Use it with customers or clients, too. How could [your product or service] help them? (Not just “will it”)? How could it impact their lives?

It can even work as you start to look back on 2023 as we head toward a new year. When you're tempted to say “I should have _______,” try asking “What could I have done differently?”

It's a little softer. It invites creative thinking for your next steps. 

*Caveat: There are times when there is a clear “should” answer: 

“Should I cheat my clients?” No.

"Should I refrain from plagiarizing someone else's web copy?" Yes. 

“Should I engineer the return of extinct dinosaurs?" Ask Dr. Malcolm from Jurassic Park: (“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they never stopped to think if they should!”).

Assuming you aren't messing with genetic evolution or other ethical quandaries, I hope you'll practice using “Could” and other possibility-oriented words & phrases ("What if…" being another great creativity-spark). 

More coulda, less shoulda. Then let me know if you woulda. (i.e. take action). 

-Jane