Are You Pushing Money Away?
Since I recently wrote about Power, it only seems logical that we should also talk about… Money.
Oh, man. Money & Power. What a combo.
Some of you may be picturing Dr. Evil right now. Some of you think I want you to have sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads. (p.s. I apologize if I didn’t warn you: I have a terrible propensity for quoting 90’s movies. It cannot. be. stopped. Not even by Austin Powers).
Guess what? I want you to have Money & Power.
Not power-over, power-to, remember?
And Money: for your valuable work, for the freedom to live your ideal life, for the ability to impact the world.
But here’s an unfortunate truth:
You’re probably pushing money away.
“Nuh-uh, Jane. I want money.”
“Yuh-HUH.” [said in my childhood playground-sarcastic-voice].
In 99% of my coaching clients, I have yet to encounter someone who isn’t inadvertently pushing money away without realizing it.
Let me explain:
We all have a Money-Story: this Story consists of everything we were taught about money as children (ex. “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” or “only greedy people think about money,”), and every experience we may have had with money (ex. always scraping by, or on the other hand, having it but seeing our parents clinging to it out of fear of losing it).
We have deeply ingrained beliefs about Money, and those beliefs constantly play themselves out in our businesses (and lives), like a CD stuck on repeat (again with the 90’s. Sorry).
In my counseling practice, I’ve seen this story play out quite painfully: I’ve had more than one client who grew up in a blue-collar family, hearing that “rich people are evil,” and later found themselves coming into wealth as adults. Suddenly their own sense of identity is in question. “Am I evil? Am I allowed to have problems and hurts now that I have money? Does my family hate me now?”
If you find yourself thinking sarcastic thoughts like, “Yeah, I’d like to have that problem,” or “Must be nice,” let me assure you— money is no fun if it’s tied to shame and alienation.
The psychology of money is real. Many of my caring, empathic, solopreneur clients start out with a deep resistance to making great money, because their Money-Story is running the show behind the scenes without them realizing it, telling them that they’re going to turn into greedy, uncaring, money-and-power-hungry meanies.
In fact, let’s start there: If you have a negative Money Story, one of the ways you’re pushing money away is through negative or sarcastic language.
When someone makes snide, critical remarks about you every time you come around, do you want to spend time with that person? Didn’t think so.
Do you think Money is going to want to hang out with you if you keep badmouthing it (and the people who have it)?
I’m going to continue writing about money— and habits that will welcome more of it into your life— in the coming weeks in this blog. But today, I want you to start by shifting your language about money. Talk about it in a way that it’s going to want to hang around. Use kind (or at least neutral) language about those who have it.
For example:
*If you see someone driving your dream car, and think, “Ugh. Must be nice…”, finish that sentence with: “Yeah, I bet it is nice. How great for her— I hope she’s enjoying it. I can’t wait to buy that car for myself someday.”
*Shift “I’m always behind on money,” to “I can’t wait to see where the money is going to come from; I know it’s on its way.” Spend a moment in gratitude for the ways it has shown up in the past.
*At the very least— start repeating a positive money-mantra, like “Money comes to me with ease and abundance.” (Just see what happens when your subconscious starts kicking in).
Finally: consider that if you want sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads (or whatever you want Money & Power to bring), well, maybe that’s just fine. Like most things in life, they can probably just as easily be used for good as for evil. Maybe they can be used to protect the vulnerable. Maybe they’re just fun to watch (“Pew! Pew!”). It’s up to you.
