Beware The "Affair Business".
I love reading books for, by, and about creative-types.
Not only because they tend to be fun, fascinating people, but because business is a creative process.
Filmmakers/actors Mark and Jay Duplass (creators of great, quirky movies like Safety Not Guaranteed and The One I Love) wrote a fantastic, vulnerable, funny book about their close relationship and film career, called Like Brothers.
In the book, they talk about how a film they were working on started to feel like a struggling marriage. “We knew we loved each other, we knew the goal was worth it, but it was a lot of work and it was just really hard at times.” That's when they discovered the “affair movie”:
“The affair movie is that movie you end up thinking about when you are supposed to be writing the one to which you are currently assigned. It's the easy, fun, ‘other’ one that lingers in your mind while you are hammering away at an annoying detail of the writing assignment at hand. It beckons you like a Siren away from your ‘marriage movie.’ "
Creating a business is exciting. It can be incredibly fun at times (like any creative process). It's also hard.
After the initial dreaming/visioning phase wears off, it can get tedious at times. Patience is required. All your “stuff” can come up.
For us entrepreneurial, creative types, this is a very tempting moment to turn to the Affair Business, or the Affair Product/Idea. (Also known as “Shiny Object Syndrome”).
You know, suddenly you get ideas for a new side business, or new product/offering, or new way to completely re-do the thing you just worked so hard creating.
Now, sometimes you really are realizing you need to change a few things. But often, the “affair business” is just a form of Resistance.
You're scared. You don't want to have to put it out there to the world and face rejection. You're stuck in the tedious "in-between" phase before your efforts pay off. Your relationship with your business isn't quite as romantic as it was before (it doesn't bring you flowers anymore…).
But beware (or just Be Aware) of the Affair-Business. Check in with yourself if you're suddenly wanting to go in a new direction:
Are you just craving the new, fun phase again? Is this Resistance?
Or, when you're really honest with yourself, do you actually feel like the first business really isn't working?
Do you just need some “therapy” (or coaching) to get you through putting the spice and/or commitment back into your first business?
Is it possible that things will get better with time as you move through the difficult phase?
The Duplass brothers talk about how, sometimes, indulging in the “affair movie” can help get their creative juices flowing again when they're in a stuck place with a big project. But the key is that they have self-awareness. They know when it's an Affair Movie vs. the real deal.
Have you ever found yourself wanting to start an Affair Business? Comment and tell me about it. And while you're at it, go buy your Business some flowers. :)
