Failure To Launch (A Peek Into My Journal).

What were you doing this time last year?

Aside from being freshly vaccinated and awkwardly starting to emerge from my social cocoon, last May I was also preparing to launch a new program in my coaching business.

I spent days obsessing over the title and the wording of the sales copy, consulting on the program format, making changes, adding more features, taking away features, and creating a fun video to launch with.

When the scheduled day came to hit “publish”…

I did nothing.

I physically could not make my finger click that button.

Why not?

I do weekly journaling to reflect on my business (it helps, I promise); as I type this email to you, I'm looking at my coffee-stained business journal from that day.

(Yep, I'm going to give you a peek into my journal. I'd show a photo, but then you'd know that my illegible penmanship resembles that of a 12-year-old boy).

I started out disappointed in myself, because I assumed it was just fear.

I was writing things like, “but it's just a first pancake! I can take imperfect action and tweak if needed!” and “this shouldn't be a big deal-- it's just a little short-term program!"

Then I surmised that maybe I “killed” it by overthinking the copy: obsessing over wording of emails must have sucked all the clarity out of it, and I wasn't even sure if it was a good offer anymore.

Finally, I wrote “But maybe… I'm just not excited about it. Something just feels… off. Out of alignment."

I continued, “I had a wonderful session yesterday with [coaching client]about her intuition-led business, and encouraged her to 'let it tell her what it wants’.” (Could it be that my own intuition was telling me something?).

I decided, “I think I just want to trust myself, even if I don't know why I don't feel good about the program. Even though that ”Scarcity"-mindset is saying: ‘But I just put all that work into it!’ and ‘I'll miss out on that income!'"

I decided that, even if it was fear, I'd be gentle around that, too. “It feels good to bring compassion vs. shame/pressure to this."

And you know what? I only felt better and better about the decision as time went on.

There were several reasons it became clear that it hadn't been a good idea. The biggest one?

When I was honest with myself, my heart just wasn't in it.

(Even as I write this, I'm thinking of a new client who's rekindling a business she started a decade ago. All her fear and “stuff” got in the way, and she shut it down before it had really had a chance to take off. But now she's ready. Her heart is in it. The timing is right, and I feel confident that it's going to be amazing and life-changing).

There's a lot that goes into a business, but one part that often goes unnamed is learning to trust.

Trust yourself, and trust the process.

We all want formulas and recipes for success, but there will be times when you follow the recipe to the letter, you're ready to pour that “first pancake”, then you realize that what your body is really craving is bacon and eggs.

Sometimes you just need the courage to put out the first pancake, but other times you need to throw out the batter and start over from scratch.

(Intuition also comes into play when determining whether it's real clarity, or just fear driving that decision. Listen to your gut).

What's an area you need to practice trusting the process? Or what's something else you learned in your business in the last year? I'd love to hear about it; share in the comments.