It's All In How You Frame It.

The airplane was finally heading down the runway, gaining speed. After two weeks in Iceland, I was satisfied with my adventure, and happy to be heading home. We accelerated toward the point of take-off, that moment when I typically hold my breath…

The brakes suddenly slammed on the plane; we all heaved forward as we slowed to a stop. The girl next to me woke from her nap with a yelp, afraid that we were already aloft and about to crash. I reassured her that we were still on the ground and safe, though my heart was also beating out of my chest.

The pilot came on the intercom and said “Sorry, folks, but just before takeoff, a warning light came on, and I decided to stop the plane. We’re going to check and see what’s going on; in the meantime, sit tight, you can still watch movies, and we’ll keep you posted.”

Once we caught our collective breath, the passengers settled into the situation while we waited for news from the pilot. People pulled out their books and started reading, or put in headphones to watch the in-flight entertainment. Others chatted with one another.

Just as I was settling into a movie, the intercom paused it while the pilot said, “Hey folks, still waiting to get diagnostics from the mechanics. We are so, so sorry you’re having to deal with this— we know it’s a huge inconvenience. We’ll have you updated soon. Again, we’re sorry.” I remarked to my seat-mate, “Inconvenient, but I’d rather be safe!”.

I resumed my movie. Flight attendants brought refreshments. Just as I was coming up to a good part in the film plot, the intercom came on again:

“Folks, we know this is just a HUGE inconvenience for you; we feel terrible. It’s going to be another hour at least. Please just try to make the best you can of it, we know this is a pain; we really are so, so sorry.”

This pattern continued. Movie back on, settling into it, then another reminder that…

“We HATE this for you— we’re so sorry. Please be patient. We’re trying to make sure you’re safe, but we just feel awful about this inconvenient delay. We know you’re unhappy, we’re trying to make the best of it.”

Over and over, though the situation was not great, but not terrible, the pilot and flight attendants kept reminding us how miserable, inconvenient, and nightmarish they “knew” the situation to be.

At some point, I shifted from gratitude for their attention to safety, to believing them that I was, in fact, miserable.

I thought of this story recently when a client had a big snafu at one of her events.

The keynote speaker cancelled exactly 3 minutes before the scheduled speech, and my client had to perform a miracle. She found 3 people in the audience who she knew had expertise in the topic at hand, asked them to lead an impromptu group-discussion, and… it went beautifully. Many people came up to my client afterwards to tell them how much they learned, and how much they enjoyed the event.

Later, the speaker who had cancelled offered to give a free video-workshop on the same topic, which my client could share with all attendees, along with a written apology to them.

My client was hesitant to share it.

Why? Because the event had been fantastic. “Do I share this apology and video of what they ‘coulda woulda shoulda’ seen, or do I just leave it as it is?” Her hesitation was that she didn’t want to remind the audience of what the event was not.

My response? It’s all in how you frame it. Words matter.

We discussed two alternatives:

#1: “Hey folks, I’m so sorry you had to miss hearing [speaker] talk, especially without advanced notice of the change. To make it up to you, here’s a link to a video of them giving the same speech since you missed it. Thanks so much for your patience. Hope you come to another event!”, or

#2: “Hey everyone, wasn’t last week’s event fantastic? We loved seeing all of you get into the topic and ask such great questions. We can’t wait for next month’s event. By the way, if you’d like to learn more, here’s a video by [speaker]. See you at the next gathering!”

We discussed how:

*Too much focus on the negative may be motivated by trying to show empathy, but it can indirectly “train” your audience to land on a worse interpretation of events, or worse, sound defensive.

*Even addressing a negative situation is a great opportunity to “sell” the positive, to remind people why they should be glad to be working with you. It’s great real-estate to sell your service.

It’s all in how you frame it.

I thought about the pilot of that plane home from Iceland. I wish that instead of telling us how miserable we were, he’d said, “We at [airline] are so committed to your safety, we’re going through our tested system for checking and re-checking every safety-aspect of the flight. —And while that takes time, we hope you’ll enjoy our wide variety of entertainment options. We appreciate your patience, and look forward to our safe flight soon.” I would have associated the airline with the word safe.

How does this apply to your business?

Problems will come up. Snafus will happen.

Whatever your business looks like now, it probably already has some aspects that you consider shortcomings or flaws.

Guess what?

It’s all about how you frame it. Your greatest weaknesses can be re-framed as your greatest strengths. Your mistakes are a chance to remind people who you are, what your message is, and how you want to serve them.

What’s a weakness that you can re-frame as a positive in your business?

What’s an “oops” that you’ve turned into an opportunity? (An “oops-itunity”? Sorry, can’t help myself).

Think about it.

Then share your example in the comments below.