The Napkin Of Destiny...

Exactly twenty years ago, I threw all my stuff into my car (including my shiny new Counseling Degree), said “Smell ya later, Nashville!”, cranked up “Carolina in My Mind” by James Taylor, and hightailed it for the mountains of North Carolina.

I was ready to follow my bliss and find my ideal home, get my ideal dog, and start changing lives.

Finding my happy place? Check.

Getting the perfect dog? Check. (she was so sweet).

Counseling job? …Nope.

I networked my head off, but while everyone was kind, many said the dreaded words: “There are too many therapists here. I doubt you'll find anything."

Or worse, “If you threw a brick out of an airplane window over Asheville, you'd hit a therapist in a Subaru with a dog in the back." (Um, me).

I grew despondent, and even started bargaining with God that if I got a job, I'd promise to help others find work if I was ever in a position to in the future. 

My parents took me to dinner and listened to me cry and complain about the fix that I was in: "The only jobs open require 2 years of experience, and I can't get experience if nobody will hire me!” 

A kind couple at the next table overheard our conversation and walked over. 

One of them looked deeply into my eyes and said “If you feel called to do this work, you can trust that it's going to happen. You're going to be okay.” 

The other picked up a napkin and wrote their phone number on it, and said “Call us to let us know when things work out."

The kind vote of confidence and the use of “when” not “if” language helped me calm down and trust that if I kept moving in the direction of my purpose, I'd get there. 

They were right. It turned out fine wonderfully. I get to help people thrive through counseling & coaching.

(And I get to fulfill my end of my “bargain” by helping others create thriving work for themselves. I get to help change lives). 

Two takeaways:

• You're going to be okay. If you feel called to do this work, you can trust that it's going to happen (to quote my restaurant friends).

• Thoughtful gestures to others make a huge difference. When in doubt, do that extra step.

-By the way: you may be asking, “Did you call the number on the napkin?”

I lost the napkin (sigh). Then I found it again recently- but hesitated to call them, thinking “They probably don't have this number anymore; I'll try …later” (but really just avoiding a vulnerable conversation, if I'm honest). 

I was hoping to write that I was finally going to call them and let you know the outcome in the next blog post… but (full confession) it turns out I've lost the ding-dang napkin again. 

I've looked everywhere. I'm thrilled to be able to pass along their gift to me, but I'm sad to miss the chance to thank them. I'll tell you if I find it, promise.

-So the final takeaway for today:

Don't hesitate. Be vulnerable. Have the conversation (or take the courageous action) you're putting off. You won't regret it. Action matters.

You can even write that on a napkin and keep it.